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“Let us look at what the Word of God says.”
> “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
> — Matthew 19:6
This statement of Jesus is not a suggestion. It is a divine decree. It defines the very nature of marriage from God’s perspective. In the eyes of God, marriage is not merely a social contract, not merely a romantic arrangement. It is a spiritual union in which two persons become, in a real and mysterious sense, *one flesh*.
The lyrics you have set out center on two central strands of New Testament revelation:
1. Jesus’ uncompromising teaching on marriage, divorce, and adultery (Matthew 19 and parallels with Matthew 5).
2. Paul’s profound revelation that Christian marriage is patterned on Christ’s relationship to the Church (Ephesians 5:25–33).
These two strands are not in conflict. They are complementary. Jesus gives us the absolute standard; Paul shows us the grace and power available to live it out.
The theme that emerges is this:
Marriage is a God-joined, covenantal, one-flesh union that reflects Christ and the Church. Therefore, it must be guarded, honored, and fought for with spiritual seriousness.
### Jesus’ Words in Matthew 19
The key background is Matthew 19:3–9. The Pharisees came to Jesus with a test:
> “Some Pharisees came to Him to test Him. They asked, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?’”
> — Matthew 19:3
Within Judaism of that time, there were two main schools of thought about divorce (Hillel and Shammai). One was stricter, the other more permissive. Many men were using Moses’ allowance of a “certificate of divorce” (Deuteronomy 24:1–4) as a justification to send away a wife for almost anything.
The religious leaders wanted to draw Jesus into their rabbinic controversy. Jesus did not argue at the level of their school traditions. He went back to the beginning:
> “‘Haven’t you read,’ He replied, ‘that at the beginning the Creator “made them male and female,” and said, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh”? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.’”
> — Matthew 19:4–6
When they pressed Him further and appealed to Moses, He exposed the root problem:
> “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.”
> — Matthew 19:8
Then He gave His authoritative verdict:
> “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
> — Matthew 19:9
So we have four important elements:
1. God’s original design in creation.
2. The reality of human hardness of heart.
3. Moses’ concession as a response to that hardness, not as God’s ideal.
4. Jesus’ restoration of the original design as binding on His disciples.
### Paul’s Words in Ephesians 5
In Ephesians 5:25–33, Paul unfolds the mystery that Christian marriage is meant to reflect Christ and the Church:
> “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her…”
> — Ephesians 5:25
> “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
> — Ephesians 5:33
Paul quotes the same foundational text as Jesus:
> “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
> — Ephesians 5:31 (quoting Genesis 2:24)
Then he adds:
> “This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.”
> — Ephesians 5:32
So when we talk about “one flesh” and “what God has joined together,” we are not dealing merely with personal happiness, but with a holy mystery that reveals Christ’s covenant love.
### 1. “Joined together” – συνέζευξεν (synezeuxen)
In Matthew 19:6, Jesus says:
> “What God has joined together (συζεύγνυμι, *syzeugnymi*), let no one separate.”
The verb *syzeugnymi* comes from *syn* (together) and *zeugos* (yoke). It means “to yoke together, to fasten to the same yoke.” The picture is of two animals bound under a single yoke, moving in the same direction, bearing the same load.
This tells us something vital:
The lyrics echo this:
“What God has joined together / Let no one separate.”
The emphasis is not on what *we* have joined, but what *God* has joined.
### 2. “One flesh” – μία σάρξ (mia sarx) / בָּשָׂר אֶחָד (basar echad)
Genesis 2:24 (Hebrew):
> “…and they shall become one flesh (בָּשָׂר אֶחָד, *basar echad*).”
The Greek in Matthew 19:5 and Ephesians 5:31:
> “…and the two will become one flesh (μία σάρξ, *mia sarx*).”
“Flesh” (*basar* / *sarx*) in Scripture can mean physical body, human nature, or kinship. “One flesh” indicates:
This “one flesh” is not a mere metaphor. It is a spiritual and covenant reality created by God. This is why separation is so serious: you are not just dissolving a contract; you are tearing apart a God-forged unity.
The lyrics capture this reality:
> “And the two will become one flesh—so they are no longer two, but one.”
### 3. “Sexual immorality” – πορνεία (porneia)
Jesus’ exception clause:
> “…except for sexual immorality (πορνεία, *porneia*).”
*Porneia* is a broad term. It covers all kinds of illicit sexual relations: fornication, adultery, incest, prostitution. The point is that *porneia* violates the very nature of the one-flesh covenant. It is a direct attack on the union God ordained.
This shows why Jesus treats divorce so seriously:
Where the covenant has not been shattered by *porneia*, to introduce divorce and remarriage is to step into adultery. It is to contradict the reality God has created.
Let us now walk through the main themes in the lyrics and see how Scripture interprets Scripture.
### A. “It has been said…” – Jesus and Moses
The repeated lines:
> “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce’
> But I tell you…”
These echo Matthew 5:31–32:
> “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’
> But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
Jesus is not contradicting Moses; He is revealing the higher righteousness of the Kingdom. Moses dealt with a nation in the flesh, hard hearts, and civil regulations. Jesus addresses disciples who are to live by the Spirit and by the original design.
Two key truths emerge:
1. Divorce is never morally neutral.
Jesus says the divorcing spouse “makes her the victim of adultery.” Divorce creates moral consequences. It does not merely reset the board. It often drives people into relationships that God still defines as adultery, because He has not recognized the prior bond as rightfully dissolved.
2. The motive of the heart is central.
The Pharisees were seeking legal grounds; Jesus exposed the heart. In Matthew 5 He had already said:
> “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
> — Matthew 5:28
Many divorces are simply legalized ways of acting out lust and hardness. The paper does not change the heart.
### B. “What God has joined together, let no one separate”
Here Jesus returns us to Genesis. Notice the movement:
Two implications:
1. Marriage is gendered by divine design.
“Male and female.” The one-flesh union is male-female. No other arrangement carries this divine seal. The lyrics reflect that:
“From the beginning, He made them male and female.”
2. Human authority is limited.
Governments can issue papers, but they cannot undo a union God still recognizes as one flesh. A civil decree does not automatically nullify a covenant before God.
This is a central point in spiritual warfare around marriage:
The enemy wants us to treat marriage as a reversible contract. God calls it a joined yoke and a one-flesh covenant.
### C. “Husbands, love your wives… Wives, respect your husbands”
The lyrics move from prohibition (“let no one separate”) to positive instruction:
> “Husbands, love your wives
> Just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her
> Wives, respect your husbands…”
This is pure Ephesians 5:
This is not about domination, nor about human male superiority. It is about roles that mirror Christ and the Church:
Where this pattern is honored, the spiritual climate of the home changes. Where it is resisted, friction and division easily arise.
The lyrics press further:
> “Keep the covenant you made before God
> Forgive as you’ve been forgiven
> Bear with one another in love
> Guard your marriage with all your heart”
Each phrase is anchored in New Testament teaching:
> “I hate divorce,” says the LORD, “and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,” says the LORD Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.
> — Malachi 2:16 (NIV 1984)
> “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
> — Colossians 3:13
> “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
> — Ephesians 4:2
> “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Thus, the preservation of marriage is not just external rules; it is the continual practice of forgiveness, patience, and guarding the inward attitudes.
### D. “The heart is where marriage truly lives or dies”
The lyrics rightly identify the key issue Jesus Himself emphasized: hardness of heart.
> “The heart is where marriage truly lives or dies
> Hardness leads to breaking what God designed
> But grace can soften, mercy can heal…”
Jesus said:
> “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard.”
> — Matthew 19:8
Hardness of heart (*sklerokardia* in Greek: literally, “hardness of heart”) is a spiritual condition:
Where hearts are hard, even a good marriage can break. Where hearts are softened by grace, even a damaged marriage can be healed.
Ezekiel prophesied a solution:
> “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.”
> — Ezekiel 36:26
Notice: from stone to flesh. Hardness to tenderness. This is God’s answer to broken marriages: a changed heart.
The lyrics state:
> “His power restores what we yield
> Seek His strength to keep the vow
> Honor the one flesh—here and now”
This is the key: God restores what we *yield*. If we cling to our rights, our bitterness, our blame, we resist His work. If we yield, repent, and seek His strength, He can restore.
### E. “Marriage reflects the love of Christ for us”
The final section declares:
> “Marriage reflects the love of Christ for us
> Faithful, forgiving, unbreakable trust
> Hold fast to the promise, fight for the bond
> God’s grace is enough to carry you on
> One flesh forever—in His eyes”
Paul calls this a “mystery”:
> “This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.”
> — Ephesians 5:32
Marriage is a living parable of the Gospel:
Therefore, when a Christian husband and wife:
they are preaching the Gospel by their very union.
This is why the enemy fights marriage so fiercely. Every godly marriage is a rebuke to Satan. It is a visible testimony that Christ’s love is stronger than sin, selfishness, and offense.
Now we must ask: How do we actually apply this teaching? I will present four simple but demanding steps, each one to be practiced and, where helpful, proclaimed.
### Step 1: Acknowledge God’s Design and Authority
First, we must humble ourselves under God’s revealed design.
Proclamation to use:
> “Lord, I acknowledge that marriage is *Your* creation, not mine.
> You made us male and female.
> You join husband and wife into one flesh.
> What You have yoked together, no one has the right to separate.
> I submit my thoughts, feelings, and decisions about marriage to Your Word.”
This breaks the illusion that we are the final authority over marriage. We are stewards, not owners.
### Step 2: Renounce Hardness of Heart
Second, we must deal ruthlessly with hardness of heart. This is spiritual warfare at the level of attitude.
Practical actions:
Proclamation:
> “Father, in the name of Jesus, I renounce hardness of heart.
> I lay down bitterness, resentment, and pride.
> I choose to forgive as I have been forgiven.
> I ask You to take from me a heart of stone and give me a heart of flesh—tender, obedient, and willing to love.”
### Step 3: Align with Christ-and-Church Pattern
Third, husbands and wives must consciously align themselves with the Christ–Church pattern.
For husbands:
For wives:
Proclamation for husbands:
> “Lord Jesus, You loved the Church and gave Yourself for her.
> As a husband, I choose to love my wife with sacrificial love.
> I lay down selfishness and passivity.
> I receive Your grace to lead, to protect, and to serve.”
Proclamation for wives:
> “Lord Jesus, as the Church honors You, so I choose to honor my husband.
> I renounce contempt, criticism, and rebellion.
> I ask for Your grace to respect, support, and encourage him.”
### Step 4: Guard the Marriage as a Covenant
Fourth, guard the marriage as a covenant, not a contract.
Practical guardrails:
Proclamation:
> “We declare that our marriage is a covenant before God, not a temporary contract.
> We close every door to lust, infidelity, and unfaithfulness.
> We choose to bless and not curse each other,
> to forgive quickly, and to fight for the bond God has given us.
> Our home belongs to Jesus Christ.”
### Proclamation of Faith
Speak this aloud, preferably together if you are married:
> In the name of Jesus, I affirm God’s design for marriage.
> God created us male and female.
> For this reason, a man leaves his father and mother
> and is united to his wife,
> and the two become one flesh.
>
> What God has joined together, no one may separate.
> Marriage is a covenant, not a contract.
> It reflects the love of Christ for His Church—
> faithful, forgiving, and enduring.
>
> I renounce hardness of heart, bitterness, and unforgiveness.
> I choose to forgive as I have been forgiven.
> I refuse the world’s attitude toward divorce and adultery.
> I submit my thoughts, desires, and actions to the Word of God.
>
> If I am a husband, I choose to love my wife
> as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for her.
> If I am a wife, I choose to respect my husband
> as the Church is called to honor Christ.
>
> I declare that God’s grace is enough
> to heal, to restore, and to sustain this one-flesh union.
> By the power of the Holy Spirit,
> I will guard my heart and guard my marriage,
> for the glory of Jesus Christ.
> Amen.
### Prayer
Lord Jesus Christ, You are the Bridegroom of the Church. Your love is faithful, patient, and pure. You never break Your covenant with us.
I bring to You now my life, my heart, and my view of marriage. Where I have thought and spoken lightly of divorce, forgive me. Where I have been hard in heart, unwilling to forgive, unwilling to repent, I ask You to cleanse me.
For every marriage represented in this moment, I ask that You stretch forth Your hand. Heal wounds. Break hardness. Expose lies. Drive back every spirit of division, adultery, lust, and strife in the name of Jesus. Restore covenant love. Restore tenderness. Restore trust where it has been thrown down.
Grant to husbands the grace to love as You loved, even when it costs them. Grant to wives the grace to respect and honor, even when it is difficult. Let every Christian marriage become a clear, living picture of Your love for Your Church.
Where there are situations of deep brokenness, immorality, or abandonment, grant wisdom, righteousness, and the leading of the Holy Spirit. Let no fleshly reaction, no human counsel, and no demonic strategy prevail over Your purpose.
We confess: what You have joined together, no one may separate. Fulfill Your Word in us, for Your glory and for the testimony of the Gospel.
In Your holy name, Lord Jesus. Amen.
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